Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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