I CAN MOONWALK!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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