There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
