Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
