There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
