bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
