I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
