Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
