Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
