So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
