Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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