I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize