you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
