would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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