So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
