Four minutes until I can fart!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't put those talents on a resume
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
