so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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