were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I believe in your delicious
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
