Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ok first of all what the fuck
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
