you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
