I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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