do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
