For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
