Only a mothe r could love this liver
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
