On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
