What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
