Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
