JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
