Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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