ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
