you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
