Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
