Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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