put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
