I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
