she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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