Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
