careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
