Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
