help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
