Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
