You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
