i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
