It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
did i walk over a car last night?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
