I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
