You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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