Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
