Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
