She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Randomize
