at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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