I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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