My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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