Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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